Feelings
by XxXLost-In-The-CrowdXxX
Summary: This is a collection of song-fics. Please give it a try! I promise it will be worth it!
1. Info Make sure to read!

**These are just one-shots/song-fics of Vampire Academy that I will update once in awhile when I am bored. I is just something that I have been thinking about doin for awhile and decided to put it up. **

**I WILL PUT MY STORIES FIRST THOUGH!**

**THIS IS JUST WHEN I FEEL BORED OR HAVE AN IDEA FOR A ONE-SHOT OR SONG-FIC! :)**

**-Nicole**


	2. Scarred

**Song- Scarred by Kevin Rudolf**

**POV: 3rd person**

**LISTEN TO THE SONG AS YOU READ THIS! THE STORY WILL MAKE MORE SENSE! AND ALSO READ THE LYRICS THAT ARE IN ITALLICS!**

**Disclaimer- I DO **_**NOT **_**OWN SONG OR LYRICS! KEVIN RUDOLF DOES!**

**I DO **_**NOT**_** OWN VAMPIRE ACADEMY! RICHELLE MEAD DOES!**

**-Nicole**

* * *

_She came from a small town_

_Hypnotized by the big city life_

_She came looking for a piece of action_

_All she got was the big city life_

The girl stepped off of the train that had just came from her home town... her life, a little town in Montana. Everyone was nice to eachother in their small town. She had saw that somethimes in the news they would show people who would be nasty to others and say cruel things that weren't true. Everyone was respected there in her small town in Montana.

But everything changed when she was at school and her house cought fire.

_She tried to convince herself_

_This was leading somewhere_

_Just like the last day of school_

_They were gone by the time she got there_

She got home to see black dibris covering her front yard, backyard, and fire trucks and ambulances surrounding her house. She was only 17. That is how she ended up on a train to New York City. Her parents had died in the fire and because she was turning 18 in one month the court is letting her live on her own.

_Shes like woah, I finally found my place_

_And I'm like woah, this girl can't keep them boys away_

_And she says no, see I used to have dreams_

_But I cashed in something long ago, that I can't redeem_

The girl looked at her surroundings she was amazed at how bright the city was and how many people were there. After looking, she made her way towards her apartment, following the map that she had taken from the train station. Once she got there... she didn't have to place anything besides the keys because all of her possesions were burned in the fire. _I guess I will have to go shopping for school that starts in two days. _She thought

The boy walked into homeroom the next morning. All the girls lusted after him and all of the boys glared at him... wishing that they were him. By the end of the day, he had learned that there was a new girl in the school... and all of the boys followed after her like lost puppies. As he made his way to his car, he spotted her...and she was beutiful to him.

She used to dream about becoming a proffesional dancer or artist. Heck... maybe even an author. She dreamed about her future day and night. She had plans that once she had graduated high school that she would go to a perfoming arts school for dancing. But she got rid of _all _her dreams, every single one, by a mistake that she can never take back

_What you are, just another cut away_

_Now your scarred, and these scars won't fade_

_I still know, you don't get something for nothing_

_without giving up your soul_

All of the pain. She put on a show for everyone, basically played them all. She hated herself. She wasn't beutiful, or smart, or anything people thought she was. She was the person that they wanted her to be... not her real self. And she hated it. But she knew that if she showed her real self that people would think diffrently of her. Or about her past even... like the fire which killed her parents, or the car crash that killed her best friend's family and nearly killed her and her best friend. So she cut herself. She puts make-up on to hid them. The scars are all up and down her arms and on her wrists. They reminded her that she was alone and not good enough.

_She got the get it look with the drink in her hand_

_And she feels like no one_

_She tries to put the past behind her_

_But she still owes him_

She felt like a no one. She was a no one. She had lost all of her hopes and dreams the day of the car crash, which was before the fire that had killed her parents. She loved them both so so much, and that one fire had took it all away. She felt numb, on the outside people saw a beutiful, outgoing, happy girl. But to her... she was alone... a no one.

_If I ever get out of this place, things will be diffrent_

_She still hides at the bottom of the bottle_

_And cries when she looks in the mirror_

The girl cries everytime she sees herself in the mirror. All she sees is a pathetic, lonely girl.

She cuts herself off from the rest of the world. She is aware of the boys who lust her, or the girls who are jelous. But they shouldn't... because there were people who were better then her... people who didn't go through what she does.

_Shes like whoa, am I looking at myself_

_And I'm like whoa, I don't see nobody else_

_And she says no, that's the price I pay_

_And it'll cost me my life just to get out of the game_

The girl can't believe that it was her that has to go through all of the pain... why her? Why does it have to be _her_? Even though she grew up in a nice polite town, when she traveled... it was a diffrent story. They would make jokes about her and rumors. She was 14 at the time and it was two months after the car crash. She had been just released from the hospital and had a cast on her arm, and cuts everywhere. Her parents had transfered her to a school just outside of her town and at that school... if you weren't perfect, you were teased and made fun of. And because of her broken arm, cuts, and brusies... that is what they did to her.

He was lying on his bed thinking of the beutiful girl he had spotted a few days ago. To him... she was perfect. He had only talked to her once in class, and it was for a project. He could tell that she was hiding something, and it was a painful memory and he wanted to help her... to love her. _This is crazy... love? _He thought. He barely knew her... but felt a strong connection to her. His mamma had always said that when he had found the right girl he would _know_. And he did... he know understood what she meant now, he loved the dark-haired girl that he barely knew.

She knows that she is risking her life by cutting... but it feels so good to let her pain out. She's addicted to the feel, and she's scared, becouse to end it is to end her life.

_What you are, just another cut away_

_Now your scarred, and these scars won't fade_

_I still know that you don't get somehting for nothing_

_Without giving up her soul_

Everyday another cut joins the old ones and new ones. Her arms... up and down covered in them... they just join her list of things to hate about herself. She went to school the next day, only to bump into a cute... no, hot... tall, guy with brown chin- length hair, and dropped her books as she fell to the ground. He asked if she was okay and she replied that she was fine. He asked if she wanted to have lunch with him and she hesitated before agreeing, _Who whould want to spend lunch with someone like me? _She asked herself.

_What you are, just another cut away_

_Now your scarred, and these scars won't fade_

_I still know, you don't get something for nothing_

_Without giving up your soul_

It has been ten years since that boy asked her to have lunch with him. And that is when she realized that she loved him. Dimitri, the guy who fixed her, her husband, father of her children. She never thought that she would ever be happy. She still has scars covering her arms and wrists, Dimiti knows, and he helped her stop altogether. Sometimes she wants to cut herself again, but she realized that by doing that... you end up hurting the people around you and not just you, and that it might feel good to let the pain go for a few minutes, but what about after? Where does it get you? Closer to death? The girl didn't want to die... she didn't want the pain either... but that's life... you are where you are now for a reason... it's your fate. It will pass eventually. It is better to leave it like that then taking a permenent solution for a temparary problem. And Dimitri proved that to her.

Ten years... ten years since he had married the love of his life. Rose. She told him her story, and he listened. He got her to stop cutting and is very proud of her. She's the girl who completes him, his wife, mother of his children. And he wouldn't have it anyother way. He loves her deeply and it will never fade. He will never regret asking her for lunch that one day... nor will he ever regret asking her to marry him.

_What you are, just another cut away_

_Now your scarred, and these scars won't fade_

_I still know, you don't get something for nothing_

_Without giving up your soul_

* * *

**Love it? Hate it? Let me know! This is personally one of my favorite songs! If you have a request of a song to do or one-shot... PM me and I will see if I can do it for you!**

**-Nicole**


	3. Savin' Me

**Sorry for any mistakes in the lyrics... I did it by ear.**

**SONG: Savin' Me by Nickelback**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does!**

**I DO NOT own Savin' Me song or lyrics! Nickelback does!**

**Enjoy!**

**Summary of song-fic: Dimitri used to date Rose... that was before he was put in Rehab. He was caught with drugs, and Rose broke-up with him. This is a song-fic about what he feels, ect.**

**-Nicole**

* * *

_Prison gates won't open up for me_

_On these hands and knees Im crawling_

_Oh, I reach for you_

Everyday I regret getting involved with drugs. I became addicted. I lost Rose, the love of my life, because of them. She had caught me in our apartment bedroom using them, while I had thought she was at work. That was the worst day of my life. I remember her screaming at me and then running to the phone, saying she was calling a Rehab Center. I begged and pleaded her not to, saying I would stop... but she didn't listen. That's how I ended up in this... this **prison**-like room. I sit in the uncomfortable bed and just cry. I had been in this for almost a year and four months.

_Well I'm terrified of these four walls_

_These iron bars cant hold my soul_

_and all i need is you_

_come please i'm callin'_

It scares me. Knowing that as long I stay within these four walls, I will not ever see my Roza. I need her so much. She's my life and without her I am better off dead. I know she will never call me or visit me... she made that clear the day she dropped me off here.

_and oh, I scream for you_

_Hurry i'm fallin', i'm fallin'_

I fall into a darkness, depper everyday, isolating myself from everything and everyone. I over-hear the workers here that sometimes I call her name in my sleep.

_Show me what it's like _

_to be the last one standing_

_And teach me wrong from right_

_and i'll show you what I can be_

I wish she had let me stay. I miss her. She could have shown me what was right an wrong. I was so messed up with the drugs. I wish... I wish I could see her once more... once more to show her who I can really be.

_Say it for me, say it to me_

_and i'll leave this life behind me_

_say it if its worth savin' me_

I need to hear he three words. If I could hear them one more time, it can save me. I will leave the drugs and live my life with her. All I need to hear is, "I love you," come once more from her mouth.

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me_

_with these broken wings i have fallen_

_and all i see is you_

I know that no one will see me the way I was before the drugs ever again, even if I stopped and went back to my normal, no drugged, self. Whenever I sleep at night, her face is the only thing I see. It is as if a slideshow was playing, with only pictures of her beutiful face... the face I miss.

_the city walls have got no love for me_

_up on the ledge of the 18th story_

_And oh, I scream for you_

_come please im callin'_

I don't know if Rose has moved on or not. Even though it is selfish, I wish she hadn't and once they release me, she would run back into my arms again. I've thought about suicide, but never planned on actually commiting it. I hope that one day Rose will hear my calls, and come for me.

_and all i need from you_

_hurry i'm fallin', im fallin'_

The only thing I need is her. She can stop me from falling into depression. TThe only thing that keeps me going everyday is the memories of us together... good and bad ones.

_Show me what its like_

_to be the last one standing_

_And teach me wrong from right_

_and i'll show you what i can be_

Why can't anyone show me that it's going to be okay. They all think the solution is locking people in rooms, blocking the rest of the world off. I guess for Rose, the way she could have showed me wrong from right was sending me to a Rehab Center. I just want a chance... a chance to show her things nobody ever thought I could do.

_And say it for me, say it to me_

_and i'll leave this life behind me_

_say it if its worth savin' me_

"I love you," those where the last words I said to her as stepped out of her car. She just looked at me, tears streaming down her face. She didn't say anything back. It broke my heart. I knew she loved me with everything in her... but not hearing her say the words back, it hurts more than being stabbed in the heart with a knife.

_Hurry im fallin'_

_And all i need is you_

_come please, im callin'_

Why can't she see that she is the only thing I need. Once a month the Rehab Center gives me one chance to all someone. I always have my choice picked... Roza. I call her. Everytime I get her answering machine nd I just repeat her name and how much I am sorry, and I need her._and oh i scream for you_

_Hurry i'm fallin', im fallin', im fallin'_

I never get a call back.

_show me what its like_

_to be the last one standing_

_and teach me wrong from right_

_and i'll show you what i can be_

I don't get calls from anyone. I know my family is disapointed, and it hurts knowing that I failed them. I can imagine all their faces... sad, dissapointed. I now know what is right and wrong and the Rehab Center is letting me go in one week. They gave me one last call, and of course I called **her**.

_Say it if its worth savin' me_

_hurry im fallin'_

She never answered. I left a message for her saying how much I loved her, and that I was being released.

_and say it for me, say it to me_

_and i'll leave this life behind me_

_say it if it's worth savin' me_

I walked out the door of the Center, looking back at what was once my 'home' for a year and five months. I was depressed. I knew I would never get Roza back. Tears streamed down my face and I turned and looked in front of me. I stopped. I couldn't believe it. She was standing in front of her car, and through my tears I could tell that her eyes were becoming blurry from the coat of her own tears. "Roza?" She nodded. I smiled through my river tears and ran towards her. I hugged her to my body and sobbed. "I-I'm so s-sorry! I promise I w-won't do anything with d-drugs again!" After I said that, her tears fell free.

"I love you, Dimitri." Roza said. I was saved.

* * *

**Tell me what you think please? If I ever offend anyone, or hurt, them or bring up unwanted memories with these song-fics I am SUPER SORRY! I don't mean to, promise! I just try to fit my words with the lyrics! I apologize in advance! **

**Review please!**

**-Nicole**


	4. Russian Roulette

**SONG: RUSSIAN ROULETTE By RIHANNA**

**DISLCAIMER: I DO NOT own Vampire Academy! Richelle Mead does!**

**I DO NOT own Russian Roulette song/lyrics! Rihanna does!**

**Lyrics from: www . directlyrics . c om**

**This is one of my favorite songs! Enjoy!**

**-Nicole**

* * *

"Are you going out tonight?" My mom asked me, as I walkd downstairs. I had on a black mid-thigh dress, that showed off all my curves, and it was strapless. My mom thinks I go to a club every Friday(which is today), but she's wrong. The only people who knows where I really go is Lissa, because she is my best friend and I can't lie to her, and her boyfriend Sparky; oops, I meant Christan Ozera, because she can't keep secrets from him either.

"Yes, I am. I don't know what time I will be home so don't wait up for me." I told her before clsing the ront door. I walked towards my red lambrogini, opened the door, and ped off to the place I go every Friday.

I walked into the building. It smelt of achlohal, cigarettes, and blood. It was a Russian Roulette place. People had turned an old, abandond warehouse into a Russian Roulette place. I had stummbled apon it, once when I was mad at my parents. I was going to play, but used my better judgment(i know right, Rose Hathaway using better judgment? Well I do have it, I just choose not to use it all the time) and decided just to watch.

People sat in a circle at a table, gun laying in the middle. I come here, not to watch, but I sing as they play. Tonight was the tenth annivresery of scince they built this place, so toningt I was going to sing Russian Roulette by Rihanna. I scanned over the people playing.

There was a boy with brown hair and green eyes, a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, a brown haired boy with hazel eyes, another girl with brown hair green eyes(which looked like the boy with brown hair green eyes, probably siblings), and a boy that really cought my attention. He had brown hair with chocolate brown eyes, his hair reached his chin and he had muscele. He looked really familiar, but I couldn't place where I had met him before.

"Okay, if you are new here, I will tell you that before we start the game, we introduce ourselves and why we ae here, risking our lives to play this game." The brown haired green eyed boy said," I will go first," he added," My name is Adrian Ivashkov, and I am here because my parents hate me." He pointed to the girl on his right.

"I am Kayla Green, I am here because I was bullied as a kid, and I still believe all the things they said was true." The girl with blonde hair blue eyes spoke. Kayla looked at the boy next to her.

"I'm Mark London, and I made a huge mistake, that I can't forget about." Was all he said. He was the boy with brown hair and hazel eyes.

The girl with brown hair, and green eyes spoke," I am Ashley Ivashkov, and I have the same reason as Adrian, my parents hate me." I knew they were siblings.

"My name is Dimitri Belikov, I am here bacause I cought my fiancee cheating on me on our five year anneversery." He had an accent, a Russian one. He was the one with chin-legnth brown hair and chaocolate brown eyes. I now know who he is, he was in my school in middle school, he was my first kiss and crush. I now love him. I couldn't tell before because I haven't seen him in about seven years. He looks a little diffrent, only his hair is longer really.

"Okay, know that we all know everyone, I am going to inroduce you to our singer," he pointed to me,"Rose Hathaway." Dimitri's head shot towards me, his eyes widening.

"Hey. I am going to sing Russian Roulette because it is the thenth anneversery scince this place was built." I was scared for Dimitri. I made my way to the stage which held the microphone. Adrian insited on going first. He rasied the gun to his head and I started the music.

_Take a breath, take it deep_

_'calm yourself' he says to me_

_If you play, you play for keeps_

_Take the gun, and count to three_

Adrian put his finger on the trigger, nothing happened, he let out a sigh of relief and passed it to Kayla.

_I'm sweating now, moving slow_

_No time to think, my turn to go_

She was sweating, teriffied of what would happen. Nothing did. She smiled slightly and Mark took the gun.

_And you can see my heart beating_

_You can see it through my chest_

_That I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving_

_I now I must past this test_

_So just pull the trigger_

He took a deep breath, looked around at his surroundings, and pulled the trigger. He through his head back and made a sound of happiness, nothing happened to him. The gun was passed to Ashley.

_Say a prayer to yourself_

_He says,'Close your eyes, sometimes it helps'_

_And then I get a scary thought_

_That he's here means he's never lost_

She seemed confiedent. She put the gun right to her head and the trigger was pulled. A gun shot ran through the room, Adrian looked devestated as his sister slumped to the floor, but happy that she wouldn't have to deal with her parents anymore. I countinued singing as the gun was passed to Dimitri.

_Any you can see my heart beating_

_Oh, you can see it through my chest_

_That I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving_

_Know that I must pass this test_

_So just pull the trigger_

He looked terified. He pulled, nothing happened. He had an impassive face, but I could see the relief in his eyes. He passed the gun to Adrian.

_As my life flashes before my eyes_

_I am wondering will I ever see another sun rise?_

_So many won't get the chance to say goodbye_

_But it's too late to pick up the value of my life_

They continued, and after going twice in a circle, Adrian had the gun.

_And you can see my heart beating_

_Oh, you can see it through my chest_

_that I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving, no_

_Know that I must pass this test_

He pulled, nothing. Mark went next, nothing happened to him. As the gun was passed to Dimitri, my heart started pounding. I could see beads of sweat on his forehead

_You can see my heart beating_

_Oh, you can see it through my chest_

_that I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving, no_

_Know that I must pass this test_

_So just pull the trigger_

Dimitri lifted the gun to his head. I could tell it was the one with the bullet. I don't know how, but I knew I was right. He rested his finger on the trigger, and I ran off stage and pushed the gun away from his head just as he pulled the trigger. A bullet flew out of the gun and hit the wall. I looked at Dimitri. His eyes were wide and full of fear and disbelief. I hugged him. My breathing was labored, so was his.

"Oh my god," He whispered. He buried his head in the crook of my neck. I felt drplets of water on it. No, not water, tears. Dimitri was crying.

"You can't do that!" Adrian screamed at me.

"I don't care! I love him!" I shut my mouth with my free hand, realizing what I had said. Dimitri's head shot up.

"Y-you love me?" He asked. I nodded my head, hesitantly. He smiled widly and did something I never thought would happen again. He kissed me.

"I love you too." He whispered.

* * *

**Tell me what you thought! Review please!**

**If you have any recommendations that you would like me to do, feel free to PM me!**

**-Nicole**


	5. Fly Over States

**Hey, I'm back!**

**SONG: Fly Over States BY Jason Aldean**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Vampire Academy! Richelle Mead does!**

**I DO NOT own song/lyrics! Jason Aldean does!**

**REQUESTED BY: Tatiana Belikova**

**Enjoy! This was kinda hard for me to write, because I couldn't think of anything... but just bear with me... PLEASE?**

**-Nicole**

* * *

**ADRIANPOV**

_A couple guys in first class_

_On a flight from New York to Los Angelas_

_Kinda makin' small talk killin' time_

_Flirtin' with the flight attendant_

_Thirty thousand feet above_

I remember my old life. Before I became a truck driver and met a girl.I used to sit in first class and flirt with flight attendants... but that is the old me, not the new one.

_Could be Oklahoma_

_Just a bunch of square square corn fields and wheat farms_

_Man, it all looks the same_

_Miles and Miles of backroads and highways_

_connecting little towns with funny names_

_Who'd want to live down there, in the middle of nowhere_

I love the country. My friend once told me, "Who would want to live there? It is in the middle of nowhere." I just laughed and said he would never understand the way I do.

_They've never drove through Indiana_

_met the man who plowed that Earth_

_planted that seed, bust his a$$ for you and me_

All those rich people, missing the chance to meet people that work hard to give us food. Or even go to church for a day... I used to be like that. But I realized the experiences you get by traveling through driving, instead of flying.

_Or cought a harvest moon in Kansas_

_they'd understand why God made those fly over states_

I guess God chose for them to not see those things. I was given the oprotunity to do so though.

_I bet the mile long Santa Fe frieght train engineer seen it all_

_Just like the flatbed cowboy stacking US steel on a three-day haul_

_Roads and rails under their feet_

_Yeah, that sounds like a first class seat on the plains of Oklahoma_

_With a windshield sunset in your eyes_

_like a water color painted sky_

I will admit it... first class was really nice. The sky was like a water color blue, and the sunset looked like it was painted.

_You'd think Heaven's doors had opened_

_You'll understand why God made those fly over states_

_Take a ride across the badlands_

_feel that freedom on your face_

_breath in all that open space_

But being a truck driver lets you feel free, just seeing all the land and plains of the state. The ones that God made.

_And I meet a girl from Amarillo_

_You'll understand why God made,_

_you might even want to plant your stakes_

_In those who fly over states, yeah_

The girl I met was Sydney, gosh she was beutiful with her blonde hair that flowed down her back. I am lucky to have her. Sometimes I pity the people who fly over states, instead of driving through them. Other times I want to plant a stake in them.

_Have you ever been through Indiana,_

_On the plains of Oklahaoma, _

_take a ride_

I hope that one day, they will realize that the Earth God made, should be seen, not flown over. They will take the time to appreciate it. Someday.

But now, I am driving through Oklahoma, back to Sydney.

* * *

**Tell me what you think. I was having trouble writing this, but I did it! Yay!**

**I DO NOT mean any offense with the words I use! They are used just to relate to the song/lyrics!**

**Review!**

**(Hint: Next song is Hot&Cold by Katy Perry)**

**-Nicole**


End file.
